I dream of Suomi

So it’s been over a year since my last post. A lot of things have happened and I gained yet again more perspective on life. I’ve lived another year.

The exchange that I’ve lived the previous year only seems like a distant memory, an unreal dream for now, intangible. The only ways I know I’ve lived such an experience are through pictures, souvenirs I collected along the way, and the occasional skype sessions with close friends. I lost touch with a few people, said a few superficial “Hey, how are you doing? What are you up to?”’ on Facebook and keep meaning to send postcards.... but I never do.

I’ve lived another year and I no longer compare daily, mundane things to what seem to be extravagant adventures from my exchange- mainly due to people getting annoyed whenever I started my sentence with: When I was in Finland.... People have moved on: they have returned to their own homes, their families, their  lives. Life goes on, things are the way they are.I’ve gone back to university, taken more  courses, met some new people and regained my responsibilities.

I used to think: when I visit Europe, I’ll have so many people to visit, so many couches I can sleep on! It’ll be so great.

But now...

Now I wonder if such a project would still be possible. Will I ever be able to travel so freely? And when I do... will I still be friends with these people? Should I visit them? Will they remember me...? So many questions linger in my head.

It feels as though the exchange never happened, that it hadn’t had an impact on me at all. Do I feel nostalgic? Sometimes. It’s easily part of the best times I’ve ever had in my life. Would I do it again? Sure. Do I feel sad that it ended? I guess, but I’m glad it ended. Such lifestyle had to end eventually. Besides, it would get kinda boring after a while, wouldn’t it? Partying all the time and half-assing the classes... I’m all for seeking out different experiences and challenging oneself in order to grow as an individual. After a while, I think it would get easy and I would get bored. But I’m happy it happened and wouldn’t change anything.

I think part of the reason why I had such a positive experience was because I was so grateful for the opportunity. I was grateful that the government offered me such a generous grant to help pay for my expenses, I was grateful that it was so easy for me to just leave (no kids, mortgages or rent to worry about), I was grateful that I was healthy and able to fly across the sea on my own, I was grateful that I had just so much support- may it be from friends, family or even the staff. Everything just went incredibly well (or almost, but I’ll try not to spoil the feels).

In all, Finland remains a distant dream, but it’s time to wake up and move on to the next chapter, the next adventure. Who knows what will happen next. Another trip? A job offer overseas? Who knows? But for now, let’s focus on today and let it lead where it may lead.

Till then,

Kippis

PS: Yeah, this post is a mess. My writing has gotten rusty after a while.I just had so many thoughts, so many ideas that I just had to get across! Hope it wasn’t too hard reading through this sloppiness.

Also, hurray for the cheesy/corny ending!